fuck it all

dear the longest month of my life and finals,

i hope you eat shit and die.

sincerely,
fuck YOU.

cringeworthy

my papa taught me that books are to be respected. the webster dictionary is NOT a step stool. which is why i find it particularly weird that people will use pages out of books to wrap presents. just because it looks vintage, retro, cute or whatever.
its a bit blasphemous; what people have historically died for, we use as disposable wrapping paper.

don't do it. respect the book.

yes. in my time of misery, i become quite hateful.
BUT admit it, i do have a point.

To this day

Hunter and I miss you.

David's Diet

if you want to have zero body weight eat like david.

today
he ate a spinach salad with turkey, no dressing.
for dinner, he had a bowl of sausage, potatoe and kale soup.
...the end.

this is HIS normal eating pattern. it stresses me out that he lacks the basic survival instinct to eat.

Happy Birthday Papa-San

distraction

i have a tendency to get VERY tired and light-headed when doing anything related to the law. so it is of utmost importance that i find regular distractions to awaken the spirit and renew my light.

naMASTAYYY hayyyy

on with it.

holiday wish list as inspired by cravingworthy
1) a fancy camera; i saw the nikon D3100 on Oprah's favorites things. and i want it.
2) philip pullman's the dark materials trilogy
3) UGGs. ok maybe not specifically UGGs, something that is equally comforting but a bit less ugly.
4) a yoga instructor's body
5) discipline and determination
6) a dutch oven (le creuset)
7) nigella lawson or barefoot contessa's new cookbook
8) a time machine that will warp me to Dec. 17th.

persistent fear: i worry that given my top-notch education and bright ass future, i will be able to raise my kids in a very privileged environment. while i look forward to giving my kids every opportunity i also fear that they will turn out to be weird, neurotic, high maintenance, vapid consumers. i worry that at 12 they will be taking a 20 dollar yoga class whilst drinking a non-fat soy latte. kill me.

nothing new

this picture was taken from our camping trip last weekend. PSYCH. its from disneyland's canoe "ride"--where you (and 15 others) basically row a canoe in a big circle. its not very fun.

at the moment, my arms are so freakin sore from attempting level 2 yoga. that shit was so crazy. too crazy. there was a distinct point in the middle of class when i thought i was going to die.

besides that i sit at my desk and hate my life. talk lates!

priceless

he may be tall, skinny and freakishly white.
her, so vibrant, spunky and full of grace.





but, hot damn.

step 1

this weekend,
david vacuumed and moved furniture
cassie and i went to yoga at a supremely white but very zen studio
i studied while david stared at his fantasy football stats page

we're on our way to a room with character.


i am serious serious about exercising now. women in their forties have tight abs. this is not the case for me. UNACCEPTABLE!

trust

be wary of food bloggers who baste tofu with bbq sauce, who can't be bothered to use fresh garlic and instead substitute with some shit called "Garlic Gold," whose breakfast is a mish mash of everything plus oatmeal.
these are the bloggers that document their every meal, live in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere, and disgrace ALL asian food.

hahahaa, i am totally hating right now but i saw that they all got invited to some fancy food festival in sf. its totally undeserved. who the hell eats tofu slathered with bbq OR maple syrup.

disgust is the theme of the evening. at them and at myself for caring.

stillness

there are certain mannerisms that hint to unattractiveness. especially in men.

excessive movements. lack of awareness of ones' facial movements. the jittery leg. putting ones' feet on chairs in public places.

i prefer men still. maybe its my mom's bias in me, but to me the jittery leg screams insecurity.

am i being too critical?
let me ask you this, think of every suave movie character out there. james bond, batman, angelina jolie. do they jiggle their legs or rest their feet on the back of movie chairs? no. thank you velly mucho.

this post was brought to you by the guy who sits in my peripheral who NEVER stops shaking his leg. sigh. so un-james bond.

Slow Go

If we’re both not married by twenty-two
Could I be so bold and ask you?
If we’re both not married by twenty-three
Will you make my year and ask me?

If we’re both not married by twenty-four
Will you pass me those kneepads and I’ll get on the floor?
If we’re both not married by twenty-five
I hope that there’s some childish spark still alive

Cause there are so many lessons
That I just never cared to learn
And there are so many questions that still burn
Like will you hold my hand when I go?
Will you hold my hand when I go?

If I get to thirty and I don’t have a wife
I’ll ask you nicely but I won’t ask twice
If I get to forty and I don’t have a spouse
I’ll fashion you a letter and I’ll send it to your house

If I get to sixty will you let me slip away
Into an armchair for the rest of my days?
Cause you’ve got your family and I’ve got mine
The love that we shared was for another time

Cause there are so many lessons
That I just never cared to learn
And there are so many questions that still burn
Like will you hold my hand when I go?
Will you hold my hand when I go?

putting it out

with some serious reflection it's come to my attention that i am riddled with self-destructive tendencies.

first i must admit. CHECK.

then, ELIMINATE.

this is the plan
1) i can only check facebook twice a day--once in the morning and at night.
(level of difficulty: it will be hard at first but after two weeks i wont even miss it. mostly because facebook is freakin boring.)

2) only one glass of alcohol a night.
(level of difficulty: almost impossible.)

this is all i am willing to give-up at the moment. i will remain addicted to all real housewives shows, jersey shore, bethenny frankel's twitter, dlisted.com, google reader, and food.

some thoughts

this blog template is pretty ugly but i was getting tired of the original template and the fact that the masthead picture didn't fit. it still doesn't. but im too lazy to figure out what is wrong. so it will do for now.

i love mi madre. she slept over at the apt last night cause i was lonely and she loves me. sometimes i wonder if i'll love my kids the way my mom loves me; i might be too self-involved. she brought me oxtail soup (mmmmmmm) and korean bbq. david, who was in db and stopped by my house to care for the doggies, was also sent home with goodies. this is all a long-winded way of saying that i love my mama.

deep down, i don't think anyone will love me the way that she does. at the same time, no one can make me fear god the way that she does. trust me.

on another note, i really enjoy hearing david talk in his sleep. it reaffirms how pure of heart he truly is.

tonight there is (2)

massive amounts of reading.
loneliness
and self-pity

with charles shaw

tonight there is

good wine
good food
and davido

heppy christmas

the waiting game

My brother got an amazing camera two months ago. The kind of camera that takes REAL professional pictures. The kind that costs mucho; so mucho, I think it would be inappropriate to disclose. Anywho. I want it.

This is my plan. I wait, until he gets tired of the camera. THEN I casually mention how the second-hand camera that he gave me after buying his new nifty one isn't working. This may or may not be a lie. I wait patiently as to give the illusion that I am innocent and not a professional moocher.

After 3 years of waiting, I will act surprised when he gives it to me.

hospital room

I've lived in this room for 6 months. It still looks like a hospital/boy's dorm room. I need COLOR, life and pizazz.

Hopefully I will be able to record the progression of my room from this into something hipster cool.



Today, I managed to accomplish some of my new fall loves. I went to trader joes and got mulling spice for future mulled cider/wine. (I'm scared I'll hate it) I listened to motown with homework and batted the hell out of some softballs. Now, there is wine.

on my way

So I bought one of these for my apartment. According to Cassie, my room smells like I just did laundry, which is the dream.



I am now on the way in becoming a YUPPIE.

As of yet, I have accomplished the following-
1) Worked towards a Graduate degree
2) Developed unnecessary/stupid phobias
3) Become disgruntled at lackluster service (I use to be SO patient and understanding.)
4) Established a morning ritual of drinking coffee while reading food blogs
5) Cultivated an interest in current events and NPR

I do not submit willingly as I've successfully fought off the urge to buy Toms.
My struggle continues . . .

Another Sunday-hayyy

At the moment, its freakin cold.

This weather evokes memories from last fall. shitty memories.

In the name of self-preservation I hope to re-associate dreary weather with positive things such as...
- motown jams, a favorite of mi padre.
- batting cages- a better stress reliever than yoga.
- netflix instant queue-on the list: jaws, syriana, wall street, godfather?
- hot coffee (maybe mulled cider/wine?)
- sleeping in hoodies and pj pantaloons
- zinfandel and other big red wines
- new slow cooker recipes
- cassie's butternut squash turkmen-dumplings
- a fake christmas tree with lights already attached. last year's fresh tree was such a pain in the ass.
AND....PUMPKIN CARVING!

Last night, David and I went to go see Hal Sparks at the Brea Improv. He was pretty freaking funny and said some poignant things. I respect that he made light of religion in a tasteful and thoughtful manner. YET, when he reached the topic of Christianity, someone just had to boo. I understand that religion may be so ingrained in someone's identity to the point where any critique can be interpreted as an attack. What I don't understand is the adamant refusal to acknowledge discrepancies or contradictions. Especially, when the existence of which does not undercut the legitimacy of your beliefs. It's a bit narrow-minded, no? At the very least, don't boo-you look stupid.

mmmm ok. see ya lates :)

10.10.10

i will think of something to write about tomorrow.

for now, i leave you with a time line of my day.

Morning: farmer's market
then nap,
some homework,
followed by making meatballs (from scratch cause im a classy biz)to go with spaghetti
dinner,

and now debating between drinking another glass of wine OR reading.

tough.

too much time

ZORSE!



people are stupid. poor zorse; not only is he sterile, the sole reason for his existence is some bored scientist wanted to see a zebra "make love" to a horse. pervert.

i prefer God or evolution. yes, you can believe in both. thank you velly mucho.

no shame

i cry every time my mom goes on a trip. its very difficult for me. OK?!

:(

call me stage-five clinger or mama's girl or pathetic wimp.

points for review

herro,

last weekend, david took me on a surprise weekend getaway to Los Olivos. it was superrr fun. im going to write down what we did here, NOT bc i intend to boast, BUT bc i have horrible memory and am already forgetting what we accomplished.

friday, i drove to pick david up from work where he took over with the driving. i then proceeded to pester him with questions on where we were going. for the record i like surprises, im just bad with them. david knows this. friday night he wined and dined me at hitchingpost which was strategically picked bc its the only wine i can name from memory that i enjoy AND it was in sideways.

saturday, we went wine tasting and ate the best italian food. david still talks about it. considering that he is the polar opposite of a foodie, that is how memorable it was. then later that night, we drove to the middle of nowhere and looked at stars. sighhhhh

sunday, hiked in santa barbara.

typing this just made me incredibly sad that i cant vacation for a living. man, i wish i was paris hilton or a trust fund baby.

anywho, i should be productive but i have a sore throat so i cant. too bad.

note 1: i dont have a camera so there are no pictures to illustrate the grandness of our adventure.

badasses or not

female characters in hollywood that i can appreciate.

veronica mars because shes takes no shit and is a private investigator.


evelyn salt because she made a bomb out of a table leg and fire extinguisher. AND takes no shit.


lucy liu because she plays many pro-women characters AND dates joseph gordon-levitt. sigh the ULTIMATE cougar which is the dream. Also i was uncomfortable having an all white list of badass women. (not a character but thats just how damn important she is)

lorelai gilmore because she made her own life and did it without a man.

bethenny frankel because she built her own brand, used a ridiculous show like real housewives to better her situation, married jason and taught me how to be naturally thin. for the record, i consider being with a top quality person as a positive characteristic because who a person dates speaks volumes. (i.e. SPIEDI)

women, i do NOT appreciate. most will not need explanation.
bella swan: just too stupid and willing to give up everything for a guy.
miley cyrus: . . .
paris hilron: . . .
kourtney kardashian: hahahah she had a child and continues to be with that scott guy. before a kid, its pathetic. after one, its unacceptable.
farrah from teen mom: she left her baby girl in a sink. the baby turned on the hot water and burned her hand. :(

Undecided
kate gosselin, stereotypical neurotic white woman BUT does keep 8 kids presentable. thoughtfully runs her household BUT married jon gosselin.

YUPS thats all i have for now. as you can tell critical thoughts occupy my mind.

the night before DOOM

tomorrow is the first day of OCIs.
YES! traditionally, i would say something negative and self-deprecating but NO MORE. this is me positive.

anywho, today i spent the day preparing myself for impending doom (negative? nahh).
and david layed like broccoli,


i tried to eat "naturally thin" a la Bethenny Frankel and was successful up until the current blue moon.

my summer update

we're now nearing the end of summer and its pretty damn depressing. although not terribly exciting, these past two months have provided a sense of calm and stability that i can now truly appreciate.

updates for my fellow reader,

1) david moved in. its been great, so far. i feel myself become more domestic as the days pass. he better enjoy it while it last because once school starts--i'll be too busy feeling sorry for myself to make him lunch.
2)im on a new kick to be a more active human being. it doesn't help that david has no real need to exercise. fuck guys and their metabolism.
3) lastly, i am forever grateful that june gloom is past us. herrorooo sunshine.

I love you.

btw, the lakers won! i knew that you'd be happy.

hindsight

YAYAYA! im done with finals. DONE.

although, there are still things to do, i feel so damn relieved.

thursday night: hals for steak and wine.
friday: california disney with jacks and pats, rides and beer/wine tastings
today: watching tv, boiling crab with mi madre, iron man 2, birthday party and...NO STUDYING!

our dean sent out an email the night before our last final congratulating us for a job well-done and reminding us to thank those who supported us along the way. So THANK YOU for being you.

a perfect match

dave and i complement each other so well.

for one thing, he has great taste in movies, all the movie channels and a huge selection of dvds. im only catching up on the "must-sees."

a notable contribution to my life...


plus, he remembers every plot and character. its pretty crazy.
sometimes i enjoy asking him about movies more than re-watching them.

up next (after finals): My Fellow Americans

spooky

last night, cassie's mom said that there would be an earthquake in the next 24 hours. and this morning, there was a 6.9 shaker in China. isn't that CRAZY and spooky?
and because i like to freak myself out. i looked up a timeline of all the major earthquakes recorded in history. its not good, we've had 4 major earthquakes in the last 6 months.
so maybe, i shouldn't study too hard for my finals because the possibility of a major earthquake wiping out los angeles is pretty imminent. hahah jk. or am i? hmmmmm??

let me just say: if the world does end at 2012 as predicted by john cusack, i'll be freaking pissed.
why? because i'll have spent the last years of my life in hell when i should have been sunbathing on the amalfi coast.

with old age

what is the ultimate sign of love?

driving someone to the airport. because inevitably you'll be stuck in traffic for a long ass time. tis why, the flyaway bus is my best friend.

speaking of. one time in middle school, i went to a nsync concert at the rosebowl. because that was the age before cell-phones, my dad had to find street parking that was at least 2 miles away, walk to the rosebowl, find me, walk the 2 miles back to the car and then drive home while i conked out in the backseat. this after a 12 hour workday. that is a lot of love.

this weekend, im going to a wedding in sf as david's plus one. im not very excited but then again, its always when you have no expectations are things super fun.

one more month

bums, spring break is over. im trying to find the silver lining. i guess one way to look at it is the faster we get back to school the faster it'll be over. but then again that means finals will be here before i know it.

sigh. im feeling very eeyore.



on monday i'll be 24.
see yah the fuck later twenty-three.

slowly but surely

life moves on
my hate for school grows deeper
mr. macbook becomes less annoying
and, i get older

hmmm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. dave pointed out something pretty obvious. so i had to re-edit.

for the record, i posted this lovely picture of our president having a good hearty laugh. NOT getting "hilarious head from a nine-year old."

David Anthony Stoops is the dirty one.

Blog Wars

there is a certain person who i really really don't like. at all. i signed on to blog mean things about her because shes into shit like that.
but its not my right to pick her apart the way she does everyone else. i have better things to do like procrastinate, drink alcohol, and watch frasier.

i realize my hatred for her is my own problem. but shes still an assface.

WHAT else is new in my life?
jeanne is coming home in may and we're going to VEGAS. something to look forward to.

for this year.

resolutions for 2010. because in one way or another i need to keep moving.

so here are some short-term goals.

1) posture, 23 is really too old to be slouching. 23 is too old to do a lot of things.
2) reintroduce movement into my daily routine. for the last year, i sat on my ass, read, and watched tv. but this year, NO MORE.
3) quit procrastinating. HAH, not likely.

anyhow. now that i've reflected and finished tonight's reading. im going to go down some charles shaw.

a few months too late

a highlight from last year.

observations

overlapping qualities in korean people

1. they always believe that all asian food is korean food. such as, tonkatsu, curry, pho, cha jang mein and sushi.
2. they regard ALL other asian cultures as inferior except for the ever cool japanese.
3. and they tend to use "looks chinese" as an insult.
4. AND that korean language is not annoying while other languages are.

im just sayin.

hello los angeles, i am listening

This is Eddie from Frasier.
He likes to stare and chew on socks.


This is Annie.
She is a beacon of light. of hope. of inspiration.

can you tell the difference?

2009

For the most part this year sucked more than anything, but there are a few exceptions.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

This year, I will work on my posture.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Mi Padre.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Alcohol.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Being there for my mom.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Buying a macbook pro. Because it’s a piece of shit.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope, my immune system is so strong and spunky.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Plane ticket to Chicago. I got to meet the coolest dancer, Matt, and Mikey. Also, I lured David in with my beauty and charm.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Ehhh, new movies? I was really excited for Avatar.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Hating.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Napping with mi madre.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Of course. And for the record, I kissed him.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

GILMORE GIRLS.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

What a great question!

26. What did you want and get?

UCLA.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Recreational drugs with my brother in VEGAS.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Winning the Lotto.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Forward.

32. What kept you sane?

Bravo. Going to the Movies. My mom and brother. David. Jeanne and Jenny. Jacks. And of course, HUNTER AND KIDO.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Law school friends-the non-neurotic ones.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

To keep moving.